Buy in bulk

In the old days, the Big Mouth was a very formidable weapon in the war against authority. Excessively powerful and mass produced, designed to be used in any environment.

The Big Mouth has become rare in these parts, so it was refreshing to see it offered in a standard issue format, and bunker stackable boxes for long sieges.

Time to head into the woods with a boombox, cassette tapes, and a pocket full of fireworks.

Butthole Surfers, Crystal Ballroom, Portland, Oregon. Past

I saw an awesome BSH show sometime in the recent past, and captured some of the immediate photons while I was there.  The sound was different enough that I found myself listening anew, but otherwise it was perfect.  Here’s a review of the show:

Bleeding asshole burning in his car
ice cold beer carried back from the bar
hide the oozing wound inside my sleeve
move to the edge so I can breathe
police state robot eyeball locked on me
faces hold my place in the crowd when I leave
elected blackout surgery performed by fiends
hyperventilating escape sprinting in torn jeans
comforting hug of worms crawling through me

For my friends in hipster lock-up down south

Friday afternoon work-beer goes out to all of you trapped in down there in pabst-ruled hipster lockdown.  I tip each ice-cold,  maltysmooth, bubblesip in your honor.  The Free live in the shadow of Rainier, and the truly Free live in her 5′oclock shadow.  rAle for what ails you.

I’ve been carryin’ some heavy melancholy as the season changes – watching total beauty in the harvest/NaturalShutdown of the nutrient cycle.  Fearing the winter, and already feelin’ her cold dark nails tearing at my eyes.  This winter is gonna be a right bitch, but on the other side I can already hear the dutch countryside singing.  Roadburn 2010.  I don’t need to get it tattooed cuz i’ve got scar tissue from the future forming on my arms and around my eyelids – it appears we lost atmosphere the next time around – pack for Space.

Has the bitch ounce been outsourced?

As you all know the Bitch Ounce is the last ounce of beer in a 12oz bottle. People of honor drink all their beer, and those that leave the last ounce are…

This is why many breweries produced stubby beers in the past. If the Bitch Ounce was not placed in the bottle, then everyone would drink the bottle dry, and there would be no waste.

Unfortunately in modern times, this sort of enforced respect for beer has fallen out of favor (except of course for Session, but that’s a whole nother blog post)

And then I found this beer in my dads fridge, my uncle had left it there. I was enjoying the unconventional lines of the bottle, and then realized this beer contained significantly less Bitch beer than most US beers. I’m not sure what the long term ramification of foreign bitch ounce reduction will be, but I have written the Dept of Commerce to ensure the G8 will place significant penalty on countries that attempt to dump their Bitch Ounces onto other countries.

Keg is dead, long live the keg

This keg will live long and fondly in my memories. Pilsnery goodness and there right when I really wanted it. Well, until friday afternoon when it really let me down…